23 August 2004


Named in honor of CW's Hon-zuki. I now have a Mini-zuki.

This all came about from the electrical issue I had on my way home from Home Depot. I turned the corner at McCausland & Glades, I heard a loud electrical pop. Then nothing... The car was dead. I smelled ozone. The first thing that came to mind, "That mother fucking wiring loom is on fire!" So I shut off the key and hopped out to look under the bonnet. My front brake lines are glowing orange ("your smithing wand is glowing orange with purple spots.") and the grounding strap is the same colour!!! I run to the back and try to disconnect the battery, but I had tightened the ground strap really well. Plus it was too hot to touch. I was finally able to get the thing off with the jumper cables... talk about MacGyver-esc.

I run up to the house to get T's help. The car was at the bottom of the hill, in the alley. I tried to push it myself, but um yeah. After pushing it 25 feet, breaking one rope, and tying the tow strap to it. T and I got the damn car in the garage. Thank you T!

I get the bonnet off in 45 seconds, like it was on pins. I start to look around to see what the fuck happened. I had melted the positive line to the header! Who needs a mig welder?!? Apparently, the brake lines run right next to the mount for the power lead, hence the glowing brake lines!

At this point its 21:10, I need my car in the morning! I grab the jeep and head to Auto-we don't stock anything that you can truly find useful-zone. I need a 10ft. 4ga. battery lead. Their longest size: 78in. WTF? I asked the guys at the counter... "Go to Wise Speed shop", "You could tape two together�, “We don't know where you can get one". This is why you assholes work there!!@#!@#!@ So, I bought two terminal crimp ends and hop in the jeep.

Next stop, Home Depot. It's a good thing I have the store layout memorized like Caen. I get to the electrical area, find the smock wearing 'moran', and get 10ft. 4ga. THHN stranded wire. w00t! Now I get to stand in the self-check out line. PEOPLE, if you don't know how to operate your fucking VCR, don't use these lines. I, finally, get out of there & home to start the repair.

I jack up the car; remove the fresh air duct, the dizzy cap, the washer fluid tank, the marsupial vein inducer lines & the kitchen sink. Note: Why did the designers have to stuff so much crap in the engine compartment? I run the line in a more intelligent manner than the factory did. I get the whole electrical thing done by ~22:30

If you have read this far, you must be bored and/or confused. I promise the Mini-zuki bit is coming up.

I start the car. No problems so far, 'cept I burnt the fuse assembly for the spot lamps. Another thing to buy... I figured that I should drive it a short distance and see if the brake lines had melted, safer on a test drive rather than my Grand Prix ride to work. I put it in reverse and push the accelerator, nothing. The cable had seized. It was lying on the brake lines! FUCK! First thought: "Where the fuck am I going to get a cable at this hour?" I spent about 15 min. trying to figure out what I could MacGyver together. I grabbed the dykes and cut the old cable out to measure. 18in. I looked through boxes in the garage and the basement. Nothing. We must have tossed all of those excess 'cycle parts. The cable on the Titan is long enough, but I couldn't do it. I then decided to cut the throttle cable from the GS1000. w00t! After much 'custom engineering', I was able to get it installed and functional. I finished @ 00:05. Mini-zuki; I know it’s only a throttle cable, but its good for a story!

MacGyver, pfft. He's got nothing on me... Swiss army knife, give me a Gerber!


all said...

Jesus! Excellent job. WWMcGD!

handrail said...

impressive...most impressive. Obi-Wan has taught you well.excellent use of motorcycle parts! Would you have this much fun with a new BINI? I THINK NOT!...at least not for another 20 years or so.

handrail said...

and damn do i miss the hon-zuki, should have never sold it to that arse.

wb said...

Nah. With a BINI, I would have air-conditioning, more power, constant trips to the dealer, and a car note!Well, we all should have kept our other bikes. They take up so little room... Should have one in the living room, one in the kitchen, & one in the bedroom!