Being that I work in a Federal Bldg.:

I am so happy that every morning when I walk through the front door, I no longer have to see Bush & Dick on the wall. Of course, there's no Obama & Biden there(yet). Govt. employees are so damned slow!

Do you think I am being clear enough?

########,

The current documentation system is dysfunctional; the system does not contain major categories that should be included. Therefore, resolving system issues has relied upon institutional knowledge for far too long. Recording the environment, tasks, and procedures for reference provides more efficient time use, staff member cross-operational coverage and complies with some of our ISO-9002 requirements.

The fact that the ###### group currently runs under preposterous conditions is possibly attributable to previous contracts. However, following current perceived convention as comfortable; yet if that activity is erroneous, our responsibility is to correct it.

##### has directed me, to accomplish this task as an important component of the overall infrastructure plan. ####### will not continue to function in this manner, nor can we proceed with an efficient Windows systems migration without a comprehensive documentation set.

Although in the past the functions between ######## and ###### have been interdependent, we will be moving forward in a partitioned province. This creates accountability for both groups, prepares the teams for the new ##### functional environment, and the eventual dissolution of the ####### group's current role. I expect the ###### team is working on a similar documentation set, if so directed.

To accomplish this subsection of the infrastructure plan, we will begin to build a new, cohesive, and comprehensive documentation system. We will tackle issues that may arise during the course of the project. There will be no delays based on suppositional postulations.

Please move forward with the data collect as requested.

Finally, a boardroom table for that midget corporation

And many other odd furniture ideas. Thanks, but no thanks. I like LEGOs. I like furniture. I don't want to mix the two.

The assh0l3s stole my resume...

This is an ad from one of CA's recruiters:

Great client in Denver Tech Center is looking for a Sr. Systems Engineer for permanent placement.
Requirements:
System design, implementation, and support.
Perform Solaris/Linux system administration duties related to; user account maintenance, backup & recovery, documentation, and license management.
Experience with SAN engineering experience for StorageTek Flexline & 6540 system with McData switching, Sun 5320 NAS heads for NFS/CIFS/SMB shares for various platforms, StorageTek SL500
Experience in developing Solaris 10 standards documents for Solaris technologies (logical domain, ZFS, zones, FSS, projects, etc).
Coordinate build-outs, maintain, and manage co-location datacenter facility. Define standards for layout, labeling & facility documentation. System infrastructure currently includes x64 servers, T1000s, various midrange servers to E6900s running Solaris, Dell/windows systems, and IBM/Redhat Blade centers.
Coordinate monthly server maintenance window.
Plan, document, and manage system patching, server installations & upgrades. Create change request documents for business notification.
Experience with Solaris Jumpstart system configuration server.
Systems and applications support for: Inter-Tel Axxess, VMware VI3, Foundry Load Balancers, Oracle, AD, Blackberry Enterprise Server, RSA appliances, Citrix Metaframe, Nagios, Cacti, and Splunk.



This is my resume entry for CA:
· Lead engineer for a leading financial services company that provides an IT solution to enable franchise collections. System design, implementation, and support. Mentor & support junior administrators for both UNIX & Windows.
· Perform Solaris/Linux system administration duties related to; user account maintenance, backup & recovery, documentation, and license management.
· Primary SAN engineer for StorageTek Flexline & 6540 system with McData switching, Sun 5320 NAS heads for NFS/CIFS/SMB shares for various platforms, StorageTek SL500 backup library for Veritas NBU system.
· Developing Solaris 10 standards documents for Solaris technologies (logical domain, ZFS, zones, FSS, projects, etc).
· Coordinated build-out, maintain, and manage co-location datacenter facility. Defined standards for layout, labeling & facility documentation. System infrastructure includes x64 servers, T1000s, various midrange servers to E6900s running Solaris, Dell/windows systems, and IBM/Redhat Blade centers.
· Coordinate monthly server maintenance window. Plan, document, and manage system patching, server installations & upgrades. Create change request documents for business notification.
· Developed and implemented Solaris Jumpstart system configuration server. All Solaris servers can be reloaded and ready for production in an hour, bare metal to functional system.
· Systems and applications supported: Inter-Tel Axxess, VMware VI3, Foundry Load Balancers, Oracle, AD, Blackberry Enterprise Server, RSA appliances, Citrix Metaframe, Nagios, Cacti, and Splunk.


Yeah, can't fire me because of ADD is right. DAMN them!

Interview Questions

In the last few months, I had been doing interviews. I had been asking most of the technical questions, but then I had few interesting questions: Explain to me how you would test/QA a salt shaker? Tell me why a manhole cover is round? How would you explain using Excel to your grandmother? Name an everyday object? (corkscrew), Now tell me 5 unconventional uses for it? My favorite: You are a prize fighter, everyone has a song they play on the way to the ring. What's your theme song?

I just ran across a site that a similar question, one I'd think you wouldn't want to ask in an interview: what song you’d like to have playing at your funeral?

Now, I spent a few days on the theme song: I want to conquer the world, Bad Religion. I think it will take me some time come up with this one...

Of course, the geeks at work thought all of the psychology questions were stupid. Well, they're geeks... they know systems, not people. I think I'll do a much better job of being an interviewee, now that I've been on the other side of the desk. I guess I'll find out soon, since they canned my boss the week before last... Why did I go back to the corporate world?

Fvcking 0445

Had to leave the house this morning @0445 inorder to make it to the office @0600...

WTF!!??!!

/me will be passed out by 1300

Been busy lately

Standing up one of these, this and 5 other racks at Data393.

Gonna be busy with this project the rest of the year... then I get to redefine the security procedures for my environment; aka "Developers, you no longer have root/sudo access to production systems!"

At least, I get to have weekends. Go Cowboys!

OMFG... SO MUCH TIME WASTED!!!

I am now a "transitional contractor" for NIC. I am done working there as a real employee. I feel like I wasted so much of the last 7 months of my life, for naught. What a waste... As any of you who do call me, I will not have the 720-935-**** phone any longer.

And this is the slow time...

I need more time...


GIS

I believe you have my stapler.

stapler

Originally uploaded by aikidoka.

Didn't you get the memo?

Yup, at the office on a day off. How fucked up is that? At least, the boss has said I can comp this time at a later date...

Back to my TPS reports...

/Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
/Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

Office View

Office View

Originally uploaded by aikidoka.

Why do you live in the lowlands?!?!?